


A Blonde is a Blond is blond

by rotschopf



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Explicit Language, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-12
Updated: 2005-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8212846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotschopf/pseuds/rotschopf
Summary: Draco and Harry have a friendly argument about politically correct grammar.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Hex Files](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Hex_Files), which was closed for financial and health reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Hex Files collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thehexfiles/profile).

title: a blonde is a blond is blond  
author: rotschopf  
mail: rotschopf (at) rotschopf (dot) org  
pairing: harry/draco  
rating: pg-13  
warning: rant, language, some kissing  
disclaimer: still not my pleasure slaves. no harm intended, no profit made. for entertainment purposes only.  
archive: wherever you want; just let me know  
beta: silentauror, thank you so much *smooch*  
feedback: yes, hit me! harder!  
summary: draco and harry have a friendly argument about politically correct grammar.

as always, all my stories can be found at groups.yahoo.com/group/TDDM

A/N: a rant inspired by an email and two people telling me three different things.

~o0o~

The only sounds in the room were the rhythmical clacks of Harry's computer keyboard and the scratching of a quill across paper. Harry stared at his display, a smile playing around his mouth as he watched his thoughts coming to life on the screen. At this rate, he'd be finished with his new book in two weeks. After that, he'd be finally able to take a well-deserved vacation, preferably with Draco. He tried to keep his hopes low, though. There was absolutely no way of telling if and when Draco would be able to take an extended leave from the ministry.

Harry stretched his arms over his head, moaning softly when his spine realigned itself into a more relaxed position. Sitting in front of the computer for hours definitely took its toll on Harry's body. His back, and especially his shoulders, were constantly tense, his muscles protesting at every move. He smirked. It was nothing Draco's magical hands couldn't take care of later, preferably when they were both sitting in the tub.

Suddenly, the quietude was interrupted by a snort. Harry looked away from reading through the last paragraph he had typed and glanced at his lover over his glasses. "What's wrong?" he asked carefully, quirking his brows when he only received a shake of Draco's head as an answer.

"You're doing it again, pet," Draco explained curtly, not even looking up from the chapter of Harry's book he was currently editing.

Harry gritted his teeth. As much as he appreciated Draco reading through the "ejaculations" of his dirty mind - though Harry still tended to disagree with Draco on the "ejaculation" part - he dreaded Draco's comments more than the ones of his editor Jesse. Draco was a hard and honest reviewer when it came to Harry's writing, which he explained with only wanting to coax the best out of Harry. "What am I doing again, Draco?" Harry retorted finally.

Draco looked up, smirking lightly. "The 'blond' thing again. It's still 'blond' without the 'e' for a male and 'blonde' with the 'e' for a female. How many times have I told you that already?"

Now, it was Harry's turn to smirk. "Too many times, Draco," he said matter-of-factly and got up from his chair, stretching again as he sauntered over to the couch. "And Jesse tells me something different just as many times as you." He plucked the stack of paper from Draco's fingers and put it on the coffee table before he straddled Draco's thighs. Almost instantly, Draco started to knead and rub Harry's tense back, nuzzling his face into the crook of Harry's neck. "Which is why I went hunting."

Draco looked up sharply, his fingers stilling on the small of Harry's back. "Hunting?"

Harry squirmed against Draco's hands, trying to get him to start massaging again. "Hunting," he said, moaning with the relief Draco's gentle ministrations brought.

"For what?"

"For answers. I was getting sick and tired *and* confused about the whole 'blond' thing. Seriously. So I went to see someone who has to know."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "And who would that be?"

"He's a professor for modern writing and contemporary literature in Oxford," Harry explained, shifting closer to Draco's body.

"Good looking?" Draco continued, arching one elegant and very blond eyebrow.

"Very," Harry admitted.

Draco licked a trail from Harry's mouth to his ear. "Sexy?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Want to do him?" Draco grabbed Harry's arse.

"Draco..."

"Want to fuck him?"

"Draco!" Harry stared at his lover, smiling when Draco looked at him sheepishly. It was times like these when Harry knew exactly why he had given up being the slut of the gay community and decided to live out his fantasies in the form of bestselling books instead. Yet, more often than not, Draco's insecurities about their relationship got the better of him; he was practically waiting for Harry to leave him for his former lifestyle again. "Yes, he's hot. But I'm with you, now. I don't need anyone else. You know that."

Draco sighed. "I'm sorry." He prodded Harry gently with his nose, stealing a languid kiss from his lips. "So, why exactly did you go and see the professor?"

"Because you and Jesse confused the hell out of me. I wanted to know for sure about the 'blond' thing."

"And what did the good professor tell you? Did he lecture you while he was practically undressing you with his eyes?" Draco said teasingly.

"Draco, would you please stop that?" Harry shook his head. "You're impossible sometimes. But yes, he did lecture me. You should've seen him, seriously. He got all excited about it and took almost half an hour to make sure I got it. Worse than Daniel Jackson, I'm telling you."

Draco chuckled. "Now, *that'd* be something I'd like to see. And what exactly did he tell you?"

"That both you and Jesse are right. But at the same time, you're not."

Draco sighed dramatically. "Okay, can you please provide a translation of Harry-English for me?"

"Huh?"

"Coherent as always. Harry, what you just said doesn't make any sense. At least, not to me and out of context."

"Alright. You keep telling me that it's 'blond' without an 'e' for a man and 'blonde' with an 'e' for a woman. Jesse keeps telling me that it's 'blonde' with an 'e' for every blond-haired person and that 'blond' without the 'e' is the corresponding adjective. Now, it's like this. You are right in what you're saying. So is Jesse. The only thing where both of you are wrong is that you're both saying that what either of you is saying is the only correct version."

"And it is," Draco said promptly, glaring at Harry. "Trust me, my mother made sure that I know how to use correct grammar."

"Let me finish, love. As I said, you are right. You can make a distinction between genders with the 'e'. However, and that's the important part for me, in literature, 'blonde' with the 'e' is the politically and idiomatically correct spelling. 'Blonde', with the 'e', serves as a neutral to bring both genders to common ground."

Draco frowned. "And why is it politically correct to use the 'e'? I mean, it's the female word. How can that be politically correct?"

Harry snickered and took off his glasses before he rested his forehead against Draco's. "I don't know. I mean, I can always go back and--"

Before Harry could finish the sentence, Draco growled deeply in his throat, taking Harry's mouth with a possessive kiss, shoving a hand none-too-gently into Harry's hair to hold him in place. He released him briefly, glaring at him. "You won't go back there and entertain that shrub. Use the 'e' if it makes you happy. I don't care."

"It's politically correct," Harry said feebly, shivering at the feeling of Draco's breath ghosting over his lips.

Draco growled again. "Fine. It's politically correct. Now, what do you think about taking this to the bedroom and getting politically incorrect with me?"

Harry nodded. "I love politically incorrect."

~o0o~

the end.


End file.
